Escape
by DreamerMatrix
Summary: Part 13 up. FIN
1. Agent trouble

Escape by DreamerMatrix  
  
Disclaimer: The Matrix trilogy does not belong to me. I wish it did, but it doesn't. It is the property of the Wachowski brothers, Andy and Larry, who shouldn't bother suing me because the amount they gained wouldn't cover the lawyer's fees.   
  
A/N: The following script takes place after Matrix, but before Reloaded. I dunno if it's much cop, but heck, I try.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
EST shot, The Nebuchadnezzar  
  
TANK sits in the operator's chair, watching the matrix system coding scrolling down the three computer screens in front of him. The camera pans round to the left, showing NEO hacked into the system, TRINITY watching over her true love. The phone at TANK's side rings, TRINITY's head snaps up.  
  
TANK: Operator  
  
NEO: (urgently, over phone) I need an exit, Mr Wizard.  
  
A shot of NEO's monitor shows that he is indeed on the run.  
  
CUT TO  
  
Matrix System, day  
  
ECU of running feet. First NEO's, then those of several AGENTS close behind. The camera pans upwards onto NEO's face, and zooms out to see him holding a phone to his ear. He takes the location of the exit, then drops the phone in front of him, crushing it under his feet. Running a little further, he runs into an alleyway and takes off, heading towards the roof.  
  
CUT TO  
  
The Nebuchadnezzar  
  
EST shot showing TRINITY and TANK. TRINITY looks concerned as TANK hangs up the phone.  
  
TRINITY: Agents?  
  
TANK nods.  
  
TRINITY: I want in. He can't handle them.  
  
TANK: He can. Give him a little time, Trin. He'll be fine.  
  
NEO jerks in his chair, as if hit in the ribs.  
  
TRINITY: Tank…  
  
TANK: (nodding) OK  
  
The camera zooms in on TRINITY's eyes as she is jacked into the system. Then zooms out again on NEO, pinned up against a skylight wall by an AGENT. Despite the blood running from his split lip, NEO is defiant.   
  
NEO: Which one are you? You all look alike to me.  
  
AGENT: Agent Brown  
  
NEO suddenly kicks Agent BROWN in the stomach, breathing more easily once the Agent's grip on his throat is released, following the kick up with an elbow to the back of the agent's head. They are joined on the rooftop by two more agents, both of whom immediately pulls guns on NEO and squeeze the triggers. The first bullet grazes Neo's right forearm, but the rest are stopped in their tracks by Agent BROWN, whom NEO has grabbed as a shield. One crackle of energy is followed in quick succession by two more, as TRINITY, finally with the programme, shoots the other two AGENTS in quick succession from close range.  
  
NEO: (walking up to TRINITY) What took you so long?  
  
TBC… 


	2. Parody sets in

Escape by DreamerMatrix  
  
Disclaimer: The Matrix trilogy does not belong to me. I wish it did, but it doesn't. It is the property of the Wachowski brothers, Andy and Larry, who shouldn't bother suing me because the amount they gained wouldn't cover the lawyer's fees.   
  
A/N: The following script takes place after Matrix, but before Reloaded. I dunno if it's much cop, but heck, I try.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
NEO and TRINITY are stood on the rooftop, which is now empty. No, I don't know what happened to the dead guys. Maybe NEO restructured the Matrix Code and they're living happily at home with reformed memories. But anyways...  
  
NEO: What took you so long?  
  
TRINITY shrugs. NEO blinks.   
  
CUT TO  
  
CU shot of TANK on the Nebuchadnezzar. He's looking at the screens in front of him.  
  
TANK: (mutters) What the fuck? Where'd the dead guys go?  
  
MORPHEUS: (having appeared behind TANK out of nowhere, creepy know-it-all) Read the script. Oh, and by the way, the Oracle said not to start reading any long books.  
  
TANK: (frowning) Have you *seen* the length of the script? What am I gonna do?!  
  
MORPHEUS: You're going to die.  
  
TANK: Impossible!  
  
MORPHEUS: Not impossible. Inevitable... shit, wrong script... wrong character... I should have stuck with Shakespeare...  
  
TANK give MORPHEUS a 'what-the-hell-are-you-on?' look. Said look somehow manages to reopen the wound caused by the electronic laser gun thing wielded by Cypher in the original movie.  
  
TANK: AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
TANK runs off to the medical bay of the Nebuchadnezzar. MORPHEUS takes over the operator's chair, and rings the cell-phone in NEO's pocket.  
  
CUT TO  
  
EST shot of the rooftop upon which NEO and TRINITY are now passionately kissing. Which just goes to show what you can miss if you aren't paying attention. The cell-phone starts ringing, the nokia ringtone, and NEO eventually pulls away from TRINITY and answers the phone.  
  
((A/N: I don't own Trigger Happy TV either))  
  
NEO: (shouting) HELLO?!... NO, I'M IN THE MATRIX... NO, WE JUST GOT SIDETRACKED BY AGENTS... YEAH, TRINITY'S HERE TOO... [PAUSE] (normally) Oh right. Sorry Morpheus.  
  
NEO hangs up the phone, and looks at TRINITY.  
  
NEO: Well Ash and Lake.  
  
TRINITY: Again?   
  
NEO: I don't think Morpheus knows any others.  
  
CUT TO  
  
CU of the wound to TANK's side. Lots of blood. How he isn't dead already is a mystery to me. Zoom out to see TRINITY and MORPHEUS by the child of Zion's bedside. Which means NEO is flying the Nebuchadnezzar.  
  
TANK: WHAT?! YOU'RE LETTING THAT SORRY EXCUSE FOR A SYSTEM ANOMALY PILOT MY SHIP?!  
  
MORPHEUS: (in aggravating, know-it-all, superior calm tone) It's *my* ship. And yes, I am.  
  
TANK: We need to get to Zion.  
  
TRINITY: Goddammit, Tank, what's with the mood swings?  
  
MORPHEUS: Zion it is.  
  
MORPHEUS runs off to join NEO in the cockpit. Camera tracks him. Yes, I know I could just have cut to whatever, but I'm trying to be creative. NEO looks up, and MORPHEUS and NEO have a staring match. MORPHEUS wins, but only just. NEO shifts into the co-pilot's seat.   
  
NEO: We're going to Zion.  
  
MORPHEUS: How'd you know that?  
  
NEO: I'm the One. I live in a world where time is no object. Plus, I read the script.  
  
MORPHEUS: Oh. Right...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Starting on a parody now. So there. Reviews more than welcome. Flames will be met with asbestos and foam fire extinguishers.  
  
Dreamer 


	3. Problem Solved?

Escape by DreamerMatrix  
  
Disclaimer: The Matrix trilogy does not belong to me. I wish it did, but it doesn't. It is the property of the Wachowski brothers, Andy and Larry, who shouldn't bother suing me because the amount they gained wouldn't cover the lawyer's fees.   
  
A/N: The following script takes place after Matrix, but before Reloaded. I dunno if it's much cop, but heck, I try.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
CUT TO (again? scratch that.)   
  
FADE TO Zion 'night' scene style thing. You konw, like that bit where Morpheus is saying good night in Reloaded...  
  
Anyways. Pan down to see NEO being stalked by a KID.   
  
KID: NEO!  
  
NEO: What?  
  
KID: NEO!  
  
NEO: What?  
  
KID: NEO!  
  
NEO: What?  
  
KID: NEO!  
  
NEO: WHAT?!  
  
KID: Oops, I forgot to turn the page...  
  
NEO glares at the KID, and advances on the younger character menacingly. KID cowers.  
  
KID: Meep!  
  
NEO: (through gritted teeth) Start over...  
  
KID stands, and NEO turns away. KID follows.  
  
KID: NEO!  
  
NEO: What?  
  
KID: I wanted to thank you...  
  
NEO: I told you kid, you saved yourself.  
  
KID: I meant for getting me this job.   
  
NEO: I didn't get you the job. I thought you were just an extra-annoying minor character due to be killed off in the third movie.  
  
KID: I was. I hacked the Wachowski's computer and changed the script for the next movie.  
  
NEO: Did you get rid of Tank?  
  
KID: Tank? No. He's in the hospital.  
  
NEO: Damn. I've been trying to figure out.   
  
CUT TO  
  
EST shot Hospital ward  
  
TANK lies unconscious on a bed, an IV line in his arm. ZEE and LINK are at his bedside, as is MORPHEUS. MORPHEUS looks at ZEE and LINK  
  
MORPHEUS: Who the FCUK are you?  
  
ZEE: Goddammit Morpheus, can't you even swear properly?  
  
LINK: Easy, Zee. The man can't help being a single-minded, crazy, deluded, deceived, tricked, duped, hoodwinked...  
  
ZEE: (suspiciously) Have you been reading the Reloaded script again?   
  
LINK looks guilty. MORPHEUS glares.  
  
MORPHEUS: You didn't answer my question. Who the fuck are you?  
  
ZEE: I'm Tank's sister, Zee. And *this* (nods head in LINK's direction) is your operator, Link.  
  
MORPHEUS: Don't be bloody stu-  
  
LINK: Hehe, you said bloody. You're British.  
  
ZEE grabs the metal pole holding the drip bag and hits LINK. The catheter (A/N: or however you spell it) is torn from TANK's arm, blood spurting a la Kill Bill (A/n: which I also do not own). Morpheus faints at the sight of blood.  
  
LINK: MEEP!  
  
TANK: (regaining consciousness) OWWWWWWWWWWW!  
  
TANK's heart monitor blanks out.   
  
ZEE: Goddammit. Tank's dead.   
  
MORPHEUS looks at LINK.  
  
MORPHEUS: Hey, the Nebuchadnezzar needs more ethnic minorities on its crew. Fancy being operator?  
  
LINK: As it happens, Dozer made me promise I'd operate the ship if anything happened to him and/or Tank. I've just been waiting for you to dock up.  
  
ZEE: When the hell did you promise Dozer that? He died before you were casted, idiot.  
  
LINK: I have spooky magical powers. Why else would you be with me?  
  
ZEE: Ah... Dammit... 


	4. Overkill

Escape by DreamerMatrix  
  
Disclaimer: The Matrix trilogy does not belong to me. I wish it did, but it doesn't. It is the property of the Wachowski brothers, Andy and Larry, who shouldn't bother suing me because the amount they gained wouldn't cover the lawyer's fees.   
  
A/N: The following script takes place after Matrix, but before Reloaded. I dunno if it's much cop, but heck, I try.  
  
A/N 2: I was gonna leave this @ 3 parts so I'll understand if ppl call it overkill... but I was hinted and hinted at by another FF.net member, so this chapter is dedicated to her. Thanks a lot Blake.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Fade in, voice first, finishing ZEE's sentence. It's  
  
NEO:...Morpheus. I won that fair and square.  
  
Pic fades in. NEO, MORPHEUS, KID, TRINITY, ZEE, LINK and other miscellaneous minor characters are at TANK's funeral.  
  
NEO: I bet you ten bucks the Wachowski's wouldn't be able to recast Tank for the sequels. You owe me fifty!  
  
ZEE glares at NEO.  
  
ZEE: That's my *brother* you're talking about.  
  
NEO: Meep! I can't do anything yet! I'm not the One out here!  
  
NEo starts to sob. TRINITY slaps him until he gets over it.  
  
TRINITY: Goddammit man, you're at a funeral! You're not supposed to blub like a baby. That's Zee's part!  
  
ZEE pulls out her copy of the script. She flicks to the funeral scene, and the script blows up in a puff of smoke as her glare intensifies even further. NEO, MORPHEUS, TRINITY, LINK and other miscellaneous minor characters all take a step back at the same time. The KID is suddenly noticed, because he didn't take a step back.  
  
LINK: (sotto voce... [or however you spell that]) That kid is either very brave, or, more likely, a complete idiot.  
  
ZEE looks at KID, murder in her eyes.  
  
KID: NEO!  
  
NEO: What?... (As ZEE spins to advance on him) Oh shit... Trinity! Help... Need a little help...  
  
PRIEST: Fighting on holy ground is a sin.  
  
ZEE: Where in the name of the Matrix did you come from?  
  
The PRIEST turns. No plugs. ZEE gulps.  
  
ZEE: Forgive me, father, for I have been an idiot. I have shacked up with a practiser of magic.  
  
MORPHEUS: WHAT?! Don't bring me into this!  
  
LINK: WHAT?! ADULTERY!   
  
NEO: Can we bury Tank before you all go to court? Me and Trin have got stuff to be doing.  
  
Everyone looks at NEO  
  
NEO: What?!  
  
PRIEST: Sex before marriage is a sin.  
  
NEO: I'm an athiest, so sue me... Get on with the goddamned funeral.  
  
ZEE hits NEO upside the head  
  
NEO: OW!  
  
KID: Wuss.  
  
PRIEST: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah ashes to ashes blah blah blah blah dust to dust blah blah commend his soul to Heaven blah blah blah blah... OK, now for confessions of a freeborn human...  
  
Screen goes snowy, then blacks out. In green text the words 'TO BE CONTINUED IN ANOTHER FIC' appear... 


	5. George!

Escape by DreamerMatrix  
  
Disclaimer: The Matrix trilogy does not belong to me. I wish it did, but it doesn't. It is the property of the Wachowski brothers, Andy and Larry, who shouldn't bother suing me because the amount they gained wouldn't cover the lawyer's fees.   
  
A/N: The following script takes place after Matrix, but before Reloaded. I dunno if it's much cop, but heck, I try. If you don't like spoilers, stop reading NOW.  
  
A/N 2: This is turning into random Matrix parodies. But I'll try keep it tied in. Just don't hold me to it.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Screen goes snowy, then blacks out. In green text the words 'TO BE CONTINUED IN ANOTHER FIC' appear...  
  
COMMANDER LOCKE: (VO) Hey, what about the wake?  
  
EVERYONE ELSE: (Group VO) Where the hell did you come from?  
  
MORPHEUS: (VO, sotto voce) girl-stealing dickhead  
  
LOCKE: (VO) How can you have a sotto voce voice over?  
  
SCREEN FADES back to picture, just in time for the audience to see the AUTHOR hit LOCKE upside the head.  
  
LOCKE: Meep!   
  
AUTHOR: Errmmm... Hi...  
  
AUTHOR runs off. NEO giggles.  
  
NEO: (giggling) hehe, the Author's camera shy  
  
A passing sentinel knocks NEO flying with one of it's tentacle things.  
  
TRINITY: The Author is also all-powerful.  
  
NEO: I thought *I* was all powerful.  
  
MORPHEUS: Not until Revolutions, oh purpose of my life.  
  
NEO: Dude, you need to get a hobby.  
  
KID: PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR-TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!  
  
ZEE: It's a wake, fool.  
  
KID: What's the difference?  
  
CUT to  
  
Zion hall EST shot. Who knows what the hell time of day it is?  
  
The hall is empty, until KID comes in screaming at the top of his voice. Then it fills up instantaneously.  
  
KID: PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR-TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!  
  
NEO: Kid, shut up.  
  
TRINITY: We need to name the Kid. Kid is just annoying  
  
NEO jumps up on the speech rock thing, dragging KID with him.  
  
NEO: Quiet please. A moment's silence for the dead, then we're gonna christen Kid.  
  
TRINITY jumps up beside NEO. Everything is silent for a whole minute plus injury time. TRINITY eventually breaks the silence.  
  
TRINITY: Kid, in these hallowed halls, we deign to rechristen you... GEORGE!  
  
EVERYONE ELSE: GEORGE?!  
  
TRINITY: After George Orwell.   
  
EVERYONE ELSE looks blank  
  
TRINITY: The guy who wrote 1984.  
  
EVERYONE ELSE still looks blank  
  
TRINITY: Room 101 guy  
  
NEO: Erm, Trin, Room 101 guy was Paul Merton.  
  
TRINITY: Goddammit, load of illiterates. George Orwell is the name, or pen name or whatever, of the person who wrote a book called 1984, in the true 1948. In this book is the original room 101, where people were sent to be made to believe in stuff that isn't true. Gottit?!  
  
EVERYONE but NEO nods.  
  
NEO: I don't get it. What has this got to do with the Matrix?  
  
MORPHEUS: Well, when you were still plugged into the Matrix your apartment number was 101...  
  
TRINITY: And you were believing stuff which, in reality, was not true.  
  
NEO: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Right. I got it.   
  
SPOON KID: There is no spoon. But the Oracle was right when she said you were none too bright.  
  
TRINITY: Where the hell did you come from?  
  
SPOON KID: Don't ask me. I just work here. Ask Morpheus. He's the know-it-all.  
  
CUT TO  
  
Steamy sex scene featuring MORPHEUS and NIOBE. NIOBE looks into the camera.  
  
NIOBE: Hey, do you mind? Trying to have an affair here!  
  
CAMERAMAN: Oh... Sorry..  
  
CUT BACK TO   
  
Zion Hall. Shocked looks on faces of crowd.  
  
NEO: Ewwww, I did *not* need that image.  
  
SPOON KID: There is no image  
  
TRINITY is fuming.  
  
TRINITY: I thought *we* were supposed to get the first steamy sex scene!  
  
AUTHOR: (VO) Yeah, but I wanted to see Locke's face  
  
SPOON KID: There is no-  
  
AUTHOR: Don't push it, Spoon Kid!  
  
SPOON KID runs and hides behind NEO  
  
NEO: Don't bring me into this!  
  
---------------------------------------------------  
  
Jees, do you *really* want more of this? I'm not gonna put a TBC in. This fic may or may not be continued.   
  
I really want to thank the person whose writing introduced me to the word 'meep', I believe it was Angel-of-Light. That word rocks. 


	6. The imaginatively titled chapter 6

Escape by DreamerMatrix  
  
Disclaimer: The Matrix trilogy does not belong to me. I wish it did, but it doesn't. It is the property of the Wachowski brothers, Andy and Larry, who shouldn't bother suing me because the amount they gained wouldn't cover the lawyer's fees.   
  
A/N: The following script takes place after Matrix, but before Reloaded. I dunno if it's much cop, but heck, I try. If you don't like spoilers, stop reading NOW.  
  
A/N 2: This is turning into random Matrix parodies. But I'll try keep it tied in. Just don't hold me to it.  
  
A/N 3: Dedication: Angel of Lightness. All hail she who watches way too much Red Dwarf...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
NEO: Don't bring me into this!  
  
AUTHOR: Don't be a gimboid, Neo  
  
LOCKE: Never mind Neo! What are you gonna do about Morpheus stealing my girl?  
  
AUTHOR: Nothing *evil laugh*... Is it obvious that I'm using text documents to write this???  
  
LOCKE: Huh?  
  
LOCKE bursts out crying  
  
AUTHOR: Oh smeggin' hell...  
  
The POPULATION of Zion bursts into song, because AUTHOR decided it would be funny.  
  
POPULATION: When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,   
  
when you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on.   
  
Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.   
  
Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along.   
  
When your day is night alone,   
  
if you feel like letting go,   
  
when you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on.   
  
Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends.   
  
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand.   
  
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone   
  
If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,   
  
when you think you've had too much of this life to hang on.   
  
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,   
  
everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes.   
  
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on.   
  
Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on.  
  
AUTHOR: ('coughing') Copyright, REM, not owned by myself, or used for any financial gain  
  
NEO: You should really get that cough sorted out  
  
CUT TO  
  
LOCKE stalking down the corridors toward NIOBE's room. Bodies, by Drowning Pool, is playing. Upon the last 'let the bodies hit the floor', LOCKE trips over SPOON KID and hits the floor.  
  
LOCKE: (Shouting) GODDAMMIT!  
  
MORPHEUS slips out of NIOBE's room while LOCKE is screaming at SPOON KID.  
  
LOCKE: (screaming) What the smeg are you doing on the floor?!  
  
SPOON KID: There is no smegging floor  
  
NEO and TRINITY run in and drag SPOON KID off to be christened before LOCKE can hit said SPOON KID for being a smartass.  
  
CUT to   
  
Zion Hall. SPOON KID, for some reason, has been renamed DAVE. This is the shortened form of the biblical name David, and as such is readily accepted by the population of Zion. However, the true reason for this is that the AUTHOR is on a Red Dwarf (A/N: I don't own this either) high, and fancied a good laugh.  
  
CUT BACK to  
  
LOCKE, now stood in NIOBE's room, looking at NIOBE, who stares right back.  
  
LOCKE: But why?  
  
NIOBE: Because some things change... and some things never do.  
  
MORPHEUS pops his head through the door  
  
MORPHEUS: Wrong script, goits  
  
LOCKE jumps on MORPHEUS, and proceeds to get the smeg kicked out of him. NIOBE watches, frowning, then stares at the ceiling.  
  
NIOBE: What the hell is a goit?  
  
AUTHOR: Why the hell are you asking the ceiling?  
  
MORPHEUS stands up and kicks LOCKE in the kidneys.  
  
MORPHEUS: That's where a lousy desk job'll get you, fuckwad!   
  
NIOBE raises an eyebrow at MORPHEUS. MORPHEUS runs off, screaming for no reason. TRINITY walks up and shakes NIOBE's hand.   
  
TRINITY: Well done. You just introduced Morpheus to the fact that he doesn't know something. Come and have a drink. George and Dave are waiting for you.  
  
DAVE: There is no drink.  
  
TRINITY: Dave...  
  
DAVE: No, seriously, there is no drink. Neo and George drank it all  
  
TRINITY and NIOBE exchange looks  
  
DAVE: And they found the karaoke machine...  
  
----------------------------------------------------------  
  
RED DWARF ROCKS! heh, erm, obvious possibilities of a further part here. but since i keep getting the same person reviewing, who cares? heh, I'll have to do part 6, i think... 


	7. What goes around

Escape by DreamerMatrix  
  
Disclaimer: The Matrix trilogy does not belong to me. I wish it did, but it doesn't. It is the property of the Wachowski brothers, Andy and Larry, who shouldn't bother suing me because the amount they gained wouldn't cover the lawyer's fees.   
  
A/N: The following script takes place after Matrix, but before Reloaded. I dunno if it's much cop, but heck, I try. If you don't like spoilers, stop reading NOW.  
  
A/N 2: This is turning into random Matrix parodies. But I'll try keep it tied in. Just don't hold me to it.  
  
A/N 3: Dedication: Angel of Lightness. All hail she who watches way too much Red Dwarf... and she asked for a third update in one day... someone be glad I can survive on a half hour's sleep...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
DAVE: And they found the karaoke machine...  
  
TRINITY and NIOBE: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
TRINITY and NIOBE rush towards Zion Hall, tracked by the camera. In the background, NEO and GEORGE can be heard singing... sorry, trying to sing... 'I will survive' by whoever sang it. DAVE, being a smartass, ran off in the other direction, and tripped over LOCKE. What goes around, comes around...  
  
POPULATION OF ZION: Make it stop!  
  
TRINITY bitch slaps GEORGE. NIOBE pulls the plug out of the wall socket.  
  
MORPHEUS: What the hell generates *our* electricity, anyway? It'd better be geothermal.  
  
LINK: I think we tapped Machine City's power lines...  
  
ALL FREED MINDS shudder  
  
LINK: What?!  
  
MORPHEUS: If we're tapping the power plant, we're tapping future members of La Resistance  
  
POPULATION OF ZION (POZ) launch into 'Vive la Resistance' from South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut (A/N: which I do not own. My cousins stole my copy!)  
  
AUTHOR: (VO) How the hell do you people know that song?  
  
FREEBORN POPULATION OF ZION: The freed minds taught us  
  
FREED MIND POZ: And we learnt it when we were still plugged in.  
  
NEO and GEORGE: Oh smeg. Where'd all the beer go?  
  
TRINITY: Shut up  
  
LINK looks around.   
  
LINK: I think I know where Dozer brewed-  
  
ZEE hits LINK. Hard. TRINITY and NIOBE exhale as LINK fall to the floor unconscious. LOCKE and DAVE walk in, drunk as skunks.  
  
LOCKE: Do'er's good s'uff... 'atta way  
  
DAVE pointed back the way they came. NEO, GEORGE, MORPHEUS, and all other named males apart from LINK who is unconscious, run off. TRINITY, NIOBE and ZEE round on DAVE and LOCKE.  
  
LOCKE: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHMEG  
  
DAVE: (drunkenly) Meep  
  
AUTHOR: (VO) Can you imagine a drunken meep?...  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
OK, creativity asleep, rest of me needs to follow. May or may not write part EIGHT. 


	8. The morning after the night b4

Escape by DreamerMatrix  
  
Disclaimer: The Matrix trilogy does not belong to me. I wish it did, but it doesn't. It is the property of the Wachowski brothers, Andy and Larry, who shouldn't bother suing me because the amount they gained wouldn't cover the lawyer's fees.   
  
A/N: The following script takes place after Matrix, but before Reloaded. I dunno if it's much cop, but heck, I try. If you don't like spoilers, stop reading NOW.  
  
A/N 2: This is turning into random Matrix parodies. But I'll try keep it tied in. Just don't hold me to it. Which I'm doing quite well, methinks.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
CUT TO  
  
Zion, next morning. LINK is carrying MORPHEUS onto the Nebuchadnezar, over one shoulder. TRINITY is dragging NEO on board by his ankles. For once, no-one has come to see the Neb off. The only males without a hangover are working Zion Control, the females are all waiting for the males to wake up so they can be sent out against the machines. MORPHEUS and NEO are dumped in broadcast chairs, but not jacked in.  
  
CUT TO  
  
LINK on the comms to ZION CONTROL(ZC)  
  
LINK: Zion Control, this is the Nebuchadnezzar, we are cleared to leave, please open the gate.  
  
ZC: Request denied  
  
LINK: Repeat, this is Link, Operator on board the Nebuchadnezzar, we are cleared to leave, who is this?  
  
ZC: This is Link, Operator on board the Nebuchadnezzar, we are cleared to leave, who is this?  
  
TRINITY groans  
  
TRINITY: (to AUTHOR) That was poor!   
  
AUTHOR: (VO) Hey, you try doing my job, gimboid. You get it easy!  
  
LINK: Oi! Author! Get the smegging gate opened!  
  
AUTHOR glares at LINK  
  
LINK: erm, please can you open the gates, oh all-powerful Author.  
  
AUTHOR: That's better.  
  
TRINITY and AUTHOR share a look, which shows how little they think of the new operator of the Nebuchadnezzar. NEO wakes up, rolls over, and falls on the floor.  
  
NEO: Set her down here  
  
TRINITY: We're still in Zion, you goit.  
  
NEO: OHHHHHHHHH........ OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! My head! I need to jack in!  
  
TRINITY: Hack the Matrix with a hangover? This I gotta see.  
  
LINK is still trying to get the gate opened.  
  
ZC: Sorry, Nebuchadnezzar, but Commander Locke's commands are to keep you in dock.  
  
LINK: Yeah, well we have clearance from Councillor Hamaan, so tell the Commander to go teach his grandmother to suck eggses.  
  
ZC: Oh. Sorry.  
  
The gate opens, and the Nebuchadnezzar leaves, as LOCKE shows up at the docks  
  
LOCKE: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
LINK: Hah. Suckers!  
  
CUT to  
  
EXT, the Neb. (ie SEWERS)  
  
NEO: (VO) Set her down here.  
  
MORPHEUS: That's *my* line...  
  
------------------------------  
  
Hehe, TBC. Definitely a TBC here. 


	9. Cypher!

Escape by DreamerMatrix  
  
Disclaimer: IS ON EVERY OTHER PAGE SO FAR, DAMMIT! Oh well, OK...  
  
The Matrix trilogy does not belong to me. I wish it did, but it doesn't. It is the property of the Wachowski brothers, Andy and Larry, who shouldn't bother suing me because the amount they gained wouldn't cover the lawyer's fees.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
MORPHEUS: (VO) That's *my* line...  
  
CUT TO  
  
Int, the Nebuchadnezzar, what ever fricking time of day it is.  
  
NEO and MORPHEUS have a brief scuffle. NEO, to everyone's surprise, wins.  
  
NEO: (to AUTHOR) Waddaya mean 'to everyone's surprise'? It didn't surprise me. Or you, either. You must have seen that coming.  
  
AUTHOR: (VO) I'm the Author, not the Oracle, God damn your eyes!  
  
MORPHEUS: Wrong movie, kid.  
  
TRINITY: GEORGE!  
  
AUTHOR: (appearing in person) Trin, get a grip.  
  
TRINITY, NEO, MORPHEUS and LINK all hit their heads on the ceiling.  
  
TRINITY, NEO, MORPHEUS and LINK: (simultaneously) You scared the b'jesus outta me!  
  
CYPHER'S GHOST: HEY! *My* line!  
  
TRINITY, NEO, MORPHEUS LINK and AUTHOR all hit their heads on the ceiling.  
  
AUTHOR: What the *hell* are you doing here? You're meant to be in the *next* chapter  
  
CYPHER'S GHOST: They stole my line!  
  
AUTHOR: Imitation is the highest form of flattery.Now piss off, you spook, before I turn you corporeal, jack you into the Construct Dojo and have Neo kick your ass.  
  
NEO: Can't you do that anyway?  
  
CYPHER'S GHOST: Meep!  
  
AUTHOR: No.  
  
NEO: (looking like a kicked puppy) Why not?  
  
AUTHOR: Because you need to jack into the Matrix and get rid of your hangover first.  
  
NEO: Oh. Yeah.  
  
The Nebuchadnezzar shudders wildly as it comes under attack from Sentinels. Random pieces of metal fly all over the place.  
  
AUTHOR: DUCK!  
  
NEO: DUCK!  
  
MORPHEUS: GOOSE!  
  
TRINITY, NEO, and LINK all glare at MORPHEUS. AUTHOR hits MORPHEUS upside the head.  
  
MORPHEUS: Meep! I mean, DUCK!  
  
TRINITY, NEO, MORPHEUS, LINK and AUTHOR all duck down. TRINITY, NEO, MORPHEUS and AUTHOR look at LINK.  
  
TRINITY: Link! Both hands on the steering joystick and keep an eye on the sewers!  
  
NEO: (muttering) And Tank thought *I* was a pathetic pilot.  
  
AUTHOR: Screw you guys, I'm going home...   
  
LINK: (to AUTHOR) Are you sure you know what you're doing?  
  
AUTHOR: For God's sake, Link, sort out your trust issues already!  
  
AUTHOR disappears.   
  
LINK: You didn't answer my question.  
  
Writing appears on the computer screen, temporarily replacing the Matrix coding. TRINITY reads it out, because NEO has started gibbering, in major flashback, follow-the-white-rabbit mode, an AUTHOR isn't sure that MORPHEUS and LINK can actually read, due to the fact that they both asked for audio versions of the script.  
  
LINK and MORPHEUS: Hey! You weren't supposed to tell Trinity and Neo that!  
  
TRINITY: Shut up, Link... The Author has you... Follow the Albino Sentinel... Bang Bang Link...  
  
NEO falls to the floor laughing, banging his knees then banging his head.  
  
NEO: OW!  
  
TRINITY: (Still reading) Charge the EMP, idiots! Then trust me, and follow the Albino Sentinel... (no longer reading) That's all the Author sent.  
  
AUTHOR: (VO) Thank you, Trinity.  
  
TRINITY: You're welcome. 


	10. Programme Reality

Escape by DreamerMatrix  
  
Disclaimer: IS ON EVERY OTHER PAGE SO FAR, DAMMIT! Oh well, OK...  
  
The Matrix trilogy does not belong to me. I wish it did, but it doesn't. It is the property of the Wachowski brothers, Andy and Larry, who shouldn't bother suing me because the amount they gained wouldn't cover the lawyer's fees. 'Program Reality', as far as I know, is mine.   
  
A/N: TY to Lupe for giving me the Twins way into the fic. Inadvertantly.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
TRINITY: You're welcome.   
  
NEO: Is anyone else getting annoyed by the Author repeating the last line of each...  
  
The computer appears to be glaring at NEO.   
  
NEO: Hey, how come *I* always get the psycho sentient computers?  
  
AUTHOR: (VO) Just because.  
  
NEO: Oh... hey isn't this the chapter where I get to kick Cypher's ass?  
  
TRINITY: You need to jack into the Matrix first.  
  
NEO: Oh, OK. Let me in.  
  
NEO runs and jumps into his chair, which proceeds to collapse underneath him. TRINITY smirks, LINK chokes down laughter and MORPHEUS cracks up. NEO pouts.  
  
NEO: (standing and giving remains a kick) Lousy set.  
  
NEO sits in MORPHEUS' chair, and TRINITY jacks him in before MORPHEUS, still helpless with laughter, can complain.  
  
Cut to  
  
A safe house in the Matrix. NEO appears, grinning his no longer hungover socks off, and pulls out his phone, dialling 0 for Operator.   
  
NEO: Whoooooo! OK, Link, got an exit for me?  
  
LINK: (over phone) NO. Find it yourself.  
  
There is a smack! sound over the phone as TRINITY hits LINK.  
  
LINK: (over phone) Damn, Neo, can't you sort Trin out?  
  
NEO: I might not be the brightest button in the bunch, but I'm not *that* thick. Gimme the damned exit, Link. And don't say Wab Ash and Lake. That one got hit by a truck.  
  
LINK: (over phone) There's one just off the freeway.  
  
NEO: Got it.  
  
NEO runs off.  
  
CUT to  
  
The Nebuchadnezzar, int.  
  
MORPHEUS (having stopped laughing) and TRINITY are glaring at LINK, who sends himself cross-eyed glaring back at the two of them.  
  
LINK: What?!  
  
MORPHEUS: You just sent Neo on a suicide mission!  
  
NEO: (waking up in chair) No he didn't. I'm fine. The freeway was closed for resurfacing.  
  
TRINITY: Oh. Right. Smartass.  
  
Proximity screens start bleeping. LINK, MORPHEUS, NEO and TRINITY all hit their heads on the ceiling.  
  
MORPHEUS: How come we keep hitting our heads on the ceiling?  
  
LINK: Charging EMP!  
  
LINK charges the EMP. Squiddies fall like flies around the Nebuchadnezzar. Except one.  
  
NEO: Dude! Albino Squiddie!  
  
TRINITY: Follow that Squiddie!  
  
Cut to  
  
Est. shot, the sewer.   
  
The Nebuchadnezzar is following the albino sentinel. They go through an invisible forcefield, into Program Reality. The Squiddie dusappears, and Link sets the Nenuchadnezzar down on a docking platform. The four crew members walk out.  
  
LINK: I don't remember this being on any maps I've seen...  
  
The TWINS appear out of the floor  
  
TWIN 1: (looking at LINK) A human in Programme Reality  
  
TWIN 2: We are vexed.  
  
TWIN 1: Yes  
  
The AUTHOR walks up to the group. The TWINS nod heads in subservience.  
  
AUTHOR: They are here because I called them here. You two go find Lupe.  
  
The TWINS disappear in search of LUPE. (A/N: Just because I felt like it)... The crew members of the Nebuchadnezzar look at the AUTHOR.  
  
NEO: Can I kick Cypher's ass now, please?  
  
AUTHOR: Of course. Follow me.  
  
The AUTHOR leads the way to a room where NEO can jack into the Construct Dojo.  
  
AUTHOR: CYPHER! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!  
  
CYPHER'S GHOST appears. There is a clap of thunder, and he suddenly has a body all over again. The AUTHOR pushes CYPHER into a seat and jacks him into the Construct Dojo.  
  
CUT to  
  
Est shot, the Construct Dojo.  
  
NEO is in the black Dojo Master PJs, CYPHER is in the cream novice ones.  
  
NEO: You never managed to hit Morpheus, did you?  
  
CYPHER runs towards NEO, who side-steps and trips him, kicking him hard enough to send him flying through a wooden pillar. CYPHER morphs into an AGENT.  
  
NEO: Meep!  
  
----TBC----  
  
hehe... see you in part 11... 


	11. Blood Brothers!

Escape by DreamerMatrix  
  
Disclaimer: IS ON EVERY OTHER PAGE SO FAR! Oh well, OK...  
  
The Matrix trilogy does not belong to me. I wish it did, but it doesn't. It is the property of the Wachowski brothers, Andy and Larry, who shouldn't bother suing me because the amount they gained wouldn't cover the lawyer's fees. 'Program Reality', as far as I know, is still mine.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Anime/manga style (I always forget which is which) fade out/fade in on same scene. The AGENT falls over.   
  
AGENT: I *hate* those transitions. They make my eyes go funny. And it's, like, deja vu, y'know? like when someone changes something in the Matrix?  
  
NEO is looking at the AGENT, evidently trying not to laugh.  
  
NEO: Wrong body, idiot. Why take over Cypher? He sucks.  
  
The AGENT frowns  
  
AGENT: It's my duty to kill you  
  
NEO: Why bother? We'll kill ourselves eventually.  
  
AGENT: You will?  
  
NEO: Yeah, it's in a song and everything.  
  
Speakers appear in each corner of the room, and Papa Roach's 'Blood Brothers' (A/N: which, other than having the album, I do not own) blares through them. NEO suddenly has a guitar, and is playing along. The AGENT claps his hands to the side of his head, then morphs back into CYPHER, who also, inexplicably, has a guitar.  
  
CUT TO  
  
TRINITY, MORPHEUS, LINK and the AUTHOR watching on a hee-uge widescreen TV. TRINITY glares at the AUTHOR.  
  
TRINITY: If either of them goes into 'Wyld Stallion' mode, I am gonna kick your ass.  
  
AUTHOR: Jeez, lighten up. This is a parody.  
  
MORPHEUS and LINK: (under breath) Uh-oh...  
  
AUTHOR and TRINITY: You two shut the hell up  
  
The AUTHOR and TRINITY look at each other. The AUTHOR shrugs, and turns back to the TV.  
  
AUTHOR: OK, enough with the guitars  
  
CUT to  
  
The Construct Dojo  
  
The guitars disappear, but the music continues. NEO grins at CYPHER, and does that 'come get it' whole hand beckon thing. CYPHER snarls and rushes in to attack NEO.  
  
AUTHOR: (VO) Why do people get annoyed by that? And why run and attack the person who did it while you're annoyed? Don't you people *know* that anger doesn't aid a fighter unless it's channeled properly? Didn't you *see* what happened to Smith in the last movie?  
  
NEO: (fighting CYPHER with one arm) Do you mind? Trying to kick the ass of the rat who landed us with Link as an operator!  
  
LINK: (VO) Hey!  
  
AUTHOR: (VO, under breath) Sorry for breathing  
  
TRINITY: (VO) Don't be, you're only human. Plus, I always wanted to know that too.  
  
NEO stops fighting, and holds a hand out to stop CYPHER too.  
  
NEO: Did you just say *only* human, Trin?  
  
TRINITY: (VO) Yeah, what of it?  
  
NEO: Well in the movies, whenever anyone says someone is 'only human' the person who is 'only human' turns out to be a kick-ass hacker with Matrix shaping abilities.  
  
AUTHOR: (VO) Chill out, NEO. You're the One, remember? I'm not. I don't even have plugs.  
  
LINK: (VO) If you're child of Zion human, how come those albino twins were vexed to see *me* here?  
  
AUTHOR: (VO) 'Cos this place is, in essence, a product of my imagination. It requires some part of me to be here in order for it to exist. I can shape things here, but in the Matrix, I'd need Neo to do it.  
  
NEO: Stop me if this sounds stupid but... How can you enter the Matrix if you're human?  
  
AUTHOR: (VO) I send in a programme designed to mimic me in every way. A neutral program, known, funnily enough, as the Author. An all-singing, all dancing self resonating image, apart from the fact that the self doing the resonating uses its hands, not its mind to do so.  
  
LINK: (VO) Does anybody else think this is getting *waaaaaaaaaaay* too scientific for a parody?  
  
AUTHOR: (VO) Now you come to mention it...  
  
NEO takes his hand down, jumps over CYPHER's head, and kicks said rat-man in the small of the back. CYPHER rolls around on the floor, in agony, then gets up *AS IF NOTHING HAD HAPPENED* and goes to hit NEO. NEO takes off, and hovers near the ceiling where CYPHER can't touch him even if he had the talent to in the first place.  
  
NEO: nyah nyah na nyah nyah. YOU SUCK! [beat, beat] YOU SUCK! [beat, beat] YOU SUCK (etc etc until...)  
  
TRINITY jumps in on the Construct Dojo and runs up the wall, flipping off it and hitting NEO upside the head.  
  
NEO: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!  
  
CYPHER: Neo got beat by a girl!  
  
TRINITY proceeds to wipe the floor with CYPHER. When she's done, she looks straight at the camera.  
  
TRINITY: Neo was taking too long. Can we go for a break now?  
  
AUTHOR: (VO) Sure, go for it.  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
do you ppl want a TBC on this or not? I'm undecided. 


	12. CGI fun

Escape by DreamerMatrix  
  
Disclaimer: IS ON EVERY OTHER PAGE SO FAR! Oh well, OK...  
  
The Matrix trilogy does not belong to me. I wish it did, but it doesn't. It is the property of the Wachowski brothers, Andy and Larry, who shouldn't bother suing me because the amount they gained wouldn't cover the lawyer's fees. 'Program Reality', as far as I know, is still mine.   
  
I got 1 call for continue. Which is enough for me. This is dedicated to that person, who is a Sonic fan, but whose s/n momentarily escapes me.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
FADE IN  
  
The SRIs of NEO, TRINITY, MORPHEUS, LINK and the AUTHOR are sat drinking lemonade in a construct Cafe. NEO and MORPHEUS felt unable to drink alcohol after the night before, and the other three decided not to rub it in.  
  
NEO: So, Author person, do you have a name?  
  
AUTHOR: Yes. But it's longer than Author, and that'd be really bad, god-moder-style self insertion in a fic.  
  
TRINITY: So how'd you come up with this place, anyway?  
  
AUTHOR: I got drunk, watched all three movies in a marathon then turned on my computer instead of doing what any normal person would do and go to bed.  
  
TRINITY: Ameri... How old are you?  
  
AUTHOR: Nineteen  
  
TRINITY: British Teenagers  
  
TRINITY rolls her eyes. LINK, MORPHEUS and NEO look at the AUTHOR in disbelief.  
  
LINK: You mean we're technically in the product of the imagination of a teenage Brit?  
  
AUTHOR: Yeah, the water heater at my house broke down. Cold showers suck.  
  
LINK: Ohhhhhh.  
  
AUTHOR: Yeah.  
  
NEO: I don't follow  
  
AUTHOR: I didn't think you would  
  
TRINITY stifles a giggle, choking on her lemonade. SONIC THE HEDGEHOG runs past.  
  
NEO: Holy shit, Sonic's real!  
  
NEO runs off after SONIC. TRINITY and AUTHOR exchange glances; TRINITY shrugs.  
  
MORPHEUS: Why were we brought here, anyway?  
  
AUTHOR: Neo needs to learn some stuff, I figured you three could tag along.  
  
ORACLE: Aren't *I* supposed to be the teacher person?  
  
AUTHOR glares at ORACLE, who runs off after NEO and SONIC.  
  
TRINITY: Colour me stunned. You creeped out the Oracle. Surely she must have seen that coming?  
  
AUTHOR: (with a half-shrug) I just work here  
  
LINK: I never understood that phrase. It's kinda obvious, don't ya think?  
  
AUTHOR: You shut up. I liked Tank more than you anyway. You only got in 'cos of Morpheus asking me to trust him.  
  
LINK: You got that spiel too, huh?  
  
AUTHOR: Everybody gets that spiel from Morpheus.I think he has issues.  
  
TRINITY: (under breath) Ain't no *think* in it...  
  
MORPHEUS: Yeeeeeeeeeeessss, my preccccccccciousssssssssssss!  
  
GOLLUM runs in and hits MORPHEUS upside the head  
  
GOLLUM: He ssssssstole my line, preccccccccioussssssssss!  
  
GOLLUM steals MORPHEUS' sunglasses and runs off. MORPHEUS runs after GOLLUM.  
  
MORPHEUS: Get back here, creep!  
  
AUTHOR raises an eyebrow, and TRINITY pulls out a gun as AUTHOR'S hand goes wiggy. The gun disappears, and AUTHOR half-smiles at TRINITY.  
  
AUTHOR: Writer's block... End chapter...  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
do you ppl want a TBC on this or not? I'm undecided. 


	13. Unlucky for some

Escape by DreamerMatrix  
  
Disclaimer: IS ON EVERY OTHER PAGE SO FAR, DAMMIT! Oh well, OK...  
  
The Matrix trilogy does not belong to me. I wish it did, but it doesn't. It is the property of the Wachowski brothers, Andy and Larry, who shouldn't bother suing me because the amount they gained wouldn't cover the lawyer's fees.  
  
I'm putting reviewers in my fic! This is the last chapter of Escapes. A sequel is definitely in the offing.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
TRINITY was still pointing the gun at the AUTHOR, when the wiggy thing stopped happening.   
  
AUTHOR: Writers block over. I'm back. And working on a self insertion in my next fic which will see to it that the Kid... sorry, George... can't join the Nebuchadnezzar!  
  
TRINITY: (punching the air) YES!  
  
AIR: OW!  
  
There is a pause. Observant fic-readers may have noticed the reappearance of TRINITY'S gun, but *everyone* should notice the tumbleweed blowing across the screen.  
  
TRINITY: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight  
  
LINK: So, this plan of yours... what is it?  
  
AUTHOR: Easy. I give Switch, Apoc and Mouse their bodies back... Well, not their actual bodies, cos that's kinda, you, know, gross. But carbon copies of their bodies. Like I did with Cypher.  
  
TRINITY: But that still leaves us one person down.  
  
AUTHOR: Yeah, that's where I come in. With the self insertion. All I need to do is get myself killed, then plugged into the Matrix as myself, healed up, unplugged, and boom, instant second saviour on the Neb. Not that I'll remember this conversation, but you will.  
  
LINK: If it keeps George away from the Neb, I'm all for it. That kid is crazy.  
  
KAT-23 runs past, waving MORPHEUS' sunglasses. She is followed by GOLLUM, MORPHEUS, SONIC and NEO. They all run around in circles. The TWINS fade in some how, shoot the AUTHOR as he stands up, and fade out again. AUTHOR does dramatic fall into the wall and slides down. KAT-23 jumps over AUthor's legs, but MORPHEUS trips, his hand grabbing his glasses as he drops to the floor. GOLLUM and SONIC jump over MORPHEUS, NEO trips. With his dying breath, the AUTHOR re-corporealises SWITCH, APOC and MOUSE.  
  
SWITCH, APOC and MOUSE: Wow, what a trip. Where's that bastard Cypher?  
  
TRINITY: He just dissolved. It took all the Author's energy to re-corporealise you three.  
  
APOC: He sacrificed himself for us? Whoa, dude!  
  
TRINITY hits APOC upside the head  
  
NEO: (standing up) Ermmm... If he's dead, isn't this place due to disappear?  
  
TRINITY and LINK grab MORPHEUS and run for the Nebuchadnezzar as the construct disappears, followed by APOC, MOUSE, NEO and SWITCH. When the Neb sets off, APOC looks at TRINITY, whom everyone knows is more of a leader than MORPHEUS will ever be.  
  
APOC: What now?  
  
TRINITY: We search for him. It's simply a matter of time... 


End file.
